This Profession Is Hard

What I’m about to share is Blunt. Real. Vulnerable.  And different than what I usually post on Sunday’s but please hang in there because this could be extremely valuable advice for you at the moment.  

In the past few months, I’ve had over a 100 coaching conversations via email, phone calls, zoom, face-to-face, and texts with coaches, athletic directors, and admissions counselors.  

A lot of these conversations end up being around dealing with emotions, strained relationships, putting out fires, dealing with unhappy current student-athletes or parents, not being able to find enough reliable help, etc.  

I like to categorize these conversations as “panic mode” where it feels like everything is crumbling and you won’t be able to save it. 

More than ever I am seeing coaches suffer from depression, stress and severe anxiety.  

We are constantly in this heightened state of fear, stress and self-sabotage. 

I get it.  

I’ve been there. 

Yes, I’m a long time soccer Coach. But I’m also now a business owner myself and work with a lot of coaches via Dan Tudor. 

I’ve been through about every setback imaginable in my coaching career so far: 

• Nasty hazing situations.  
• I’ve been fired.
•  I’ve had to battle administrators who felt the need to always put the unqualified strength and conditioning or athletic trainers with my team.  
• Betrayed by administrators who threw me under the bus 
• I’ve had to deal with athletes getting pregnant or trying to commit suicide 
• I’ve lost close relationships with my family and friends because I chose the hustle and grind culture of a college coaches life.  
• I’ve spent a good chunk of my career living on the road recruiting at tournaments.  
• Among many, many, many other things.  (too many to list) 

There were many times I wanted to quit. 

I wanted to take the easy way out and blame everyone else. 

I questioned if I had what it took to be a coach long term. 

I turned to alcohol and other vices to deal with the stress and pain. 

Perhaps some of this sounds familiar to you. 

On a given day you can be on the highest of highs, and 2 hours later you can be on the lowest of lows. 

It’s the equivalent of being on a wild roller coaster ride on an hourly/daily basis. 

But successful coaches are… 

Those that can deal with the emotions… 

Not let one bad day turn into 2 bad days… 

Find solutions instead of searching for more excuses… 

And perhaps most importantly follow these 3 C’s: 

1) Control What You Can (emotions, actions, perspective, attitude, etc.) 

2) Cope With What You Can’t (other’s actions, outside noise, unexpected events, etc.) 

3) Concentrate On What Counts (how you handle adversity) 

One of the greatest pieces of advice a mentor ever gave me was this: 

“Never get too high when things are going well, and never get too low when things are going poorly” 

This allows you to keep your emotions in check…  

And to stay calm and level-headed during both the high times and the low times of this wild roller coaster ride. 

I know this isn’t as tactical as some of my usual advice in this newsletter. But it needed to be said based on recent client conversations. 

You must accept that sometimes this coaching life gets hard. 

The solution… 

Stay grounded. 

Keep your emotions in check. 

Remember your long-term vision (your Big Why) 

Lean on your support system to help you get through the tough times (I am always here if you want to set up a call). 

And you’ll keep moving forward and gaining wins with this crazy game of coaching.  

This was on my heart to share with you this week. 

Don’t give up.   

To your success,  

Mandy Green